wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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