How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
