My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
