I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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