You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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