Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
