is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So vagazzling was a success
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
