his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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