Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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