someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
