Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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