Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
