Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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