i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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