So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
