Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
