It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
