me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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