Swine flu. Run for my life!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
