More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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