There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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