just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
