she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
