i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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