going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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