so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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