i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
