And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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