Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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