Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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