She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
