if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
