The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
