please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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