don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
