It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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