party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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