I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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