if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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