Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i now understand why vodka
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
