This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
