what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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