no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
