dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
