I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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