it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
