so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Your cock deserves a montage
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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