I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
