I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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