No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
